How to Avoid the Social Media Comparison Trap


Social media is each a blessing and a curse. It’s a improbable solution to discover marriage ceremony distributors you’re keen on, and it’s completely loaded with inspiration to pore over and save to your large day. However these curated Instagram feeds and Pinterest boards may also do double-duty, turning right into a social media comparability lure. They present attractive photos and unbelievable concepts, however they don’t present the big funds, enormous crew of execs, and nearly-endless assets which can be typically required to make every shot occur — to not point out fully glossing over how totally different it’s to create a styled shoot with a desk for eight and no catering versus a marriage for 200 folks with an open bar!

So what’s an engaged couple to do when their #weddinginspo doesn’t align with actuality? How are you going to plan a marriage that actually fits the 2 of you (and your funds and venue!)? And how are you going to preserve all of it in perspective when all these unbelievable concepts are in every single place you look?

Fortunately, your marriage ceremony distributors have been there earlier than – they usually’ve obtained a couple of ideas that can assist you keep on-track and keep away from the social media comparability lure.

Do not be afraid of Instagram.

There’s no solution to get engaged, then not get enthusiastic about planning and instantly flip to social media for concepts,” says Nora Sheils of Bridal Bliss in Oregon. “What was as soon as a stack of magazines is now Pinterest and Instagram feeds, and amassing concepts and inspiration is barely pure.” So in fact, let yourselves dream and picture, however deal with the inspiration as simply that: Inspiration, not a recreation plan.


“Once we begin working with our shoppers, we ask them to rank crucial components of their day, each individually and as a pair,” says Sheils. “From this record, we decide the highest three to 5 priorities (issues like meals, wonderful images, distinctive invites, or a lush floral design). We additionally work by the gadgets which can be wanted however could also be of much less significance. This helps us get to know our couple and what their marriage ceremony can be like, but in addition permits us – and them! – to slim down vendor selections, focus the funds, and actually keep on-track.” So when late-night Instagram scrolling turns into main social media comparability and a dialog about essentially the most spectacular five-tier marriage ceremony cake or insane lighting set up, you and your planners can return to that record of priorities to discover a compromise. “For instance, we’d recommend utilizing related flowers to those on that unbelievable cake, however going with a smaller design if flowers are a precedence however the cake isn’t,” Sheil concludes.

Be sincere about your funds—and your time.

“Individuals have a lot clearer expectations about their funds than about how a lot time they’ve,” says the crew at Sweet+Co. Occasions, LLC in Washington, D.C. “You understand you’ll be able to’t afford to purchase sufficient paper flowers for that flower wall, however do you actually have time to DIY them?” Particular person touches are at all times an ideal addition, however not on the expense of your sanity. “Being sincere about how a lot time (or cash) you might have for one thing – which could possibly be very totally different than the money and time it took to create that inspiration picture! – will prevent additional stress in the long term.”

wedding tablescape
Camille Fontanez Images

Get actual together with your distributors. 

In the identical vein, you need to be upfront together with your distributors about your funds constraints from the get-go. “Many creatives can work with nearly any real looking funds (key phrase: real looking!) to assist translate a imaginative and prescient to suit your constraints,” the Sweet+Co. crew says. “However they will solely do this in the event that they perceive what they’re working with from the start!” It’s a lot simpler to be artistic with shortcuts or alternate options when you might have months of planning forward of you than it’s to hurry to chop prices on the final minute.

Make your marriage ceremony your personal.

What you see on social media isn’t the one means one thing may be accomplished! “You would possibly fall in love with an elaborate floral wall, however that doesn’t imply your solely selection is to have the very same design,” Sheil says. “We encourage our to concentrate on why they like it. Is it the colour palette? The collection of flower? The form of the construction? We work out which components we will take (which can be inside funds and scalable for the particular occasion), then use that as a jumping-off level to create one thing distinctive for the couple.” Concentrate on the optimistic – utilizing that photograph as inspiration as an alternative of specializing in why you’ll be able to’t have it.

Get some perspective.

“Avoid the rabbit gap of hashtags—you’ll undoubtedly fall into the social media comparability lure that means,” says the Sweet+Co. crew. “Do not forget that skilled Instagram pages are solely going to indicate you the perfect particulars and concepts in the perfect of sunshine!” Have actual conversations together with your distributors about what it takes to make these pictures occur (particularly if the inspiration picture is from an occasion they labored on!), and use evaluations from associates and trusted sources like WeddingWire for an inside peek at the way it all works. Should you’re Instagram pages, keep in mind to look at distributors’ tales on marriage ceremony weekends. “This behind the scenes look will present you ways a lot it takes to make a marriage occur and what goes on behind all the gorgeous.”

Watch out for styled shoots.

Whether or not it’s a ramification in or a narrative on a weblog, a styled shoot and a marriage are two fully totally different animals. “Styled shoots happen on a micro degree,” the Sweet+Co. crew explains. “It’s a single desk, no visitors, and a whole day to arrange and shoot – with out additionally making an attempt to get a bride down the aisle!” Should you love a picture of a small desk in an uncommon location with no different tables round it and no folks apart from a single mannequin, it’s a styled shoot – for use for inspiration solely!

couple kissing in front of floral wreath
Makenna Brylee Images

Share your inspiration. 

“It’s really easy to get sucked in by one wonderful picture and to not take into consideration different components that may give you the same outcome,” says Sheil. “Create a Pinterest board which you could share together with your distributors the place you’ll be able to all collaborate on design concepts to slim down your aesthetic.” This shared board is the proper place to place that One Superb Picture, after which may be the place the place your distributors can add different pictures which have the same feeling – whether or not it’s a bouquet tied with a velvet ribbon impressed by the lounge furnishings vignette you saved, or a centerpiece utilizing related colours and flowers to that over-the-top flower wall.

Restrict what you save. 

“A Pinterest board of inspiration is an extremely helpful solution to talk visually together with your distributors, but it surely’s necessary to maintain it in verify,” says the Sweet+Co. crew. “Restrict the board to just some photos of every component – say 5 images of reception décor, 5 images of bridesmaids clothes, and 5 images of bouquet concepts. Will probably be a lot simpler to pick the main points which can be repeating between every photograph, and simpler to check these pictures with examples of previous work from the distributors you need to rent to ensure they will meet your wants.”

Do not plan too early—however put your deposits down!

with lengthy engagements are notably in danger for the social media comparability lure, as some traits will change rapidly from season to season. The Sweet+Co. crew has a couple of tricks to preserve you on monitor. “First, preserve a working record of belongings you do and don’t like, particularly as traits change. Your imaginative and prescient could evolve over the course of your engagement, however the belongings you dislike received’t! Subsequent, e book distributors you’re keen on early, even in the event you’re not fairly prepared to begin designing. Signal these deposit checks so you can also make certain to have an A-team in place! Then as your marriage ceremony date will get a bit of nearer, you’ll be prepared to begin engaged on the design figuring out you’re in nice arms.”

Keep in mind the very best weddings you’ve got attended.

“What’s it that you just keep in mind from a few of the greatest weddings you’ve attended? It most likely wasn’t the serviette rings, the invites, or the favors,” says the Sweet+Co. crew. “What you keep in mind is the enjoyment, the enjoyable, and the love, so concentrate on ensuring that’s what your family members keep in mind about your marriage ceremony, too. Should you create a marriage for Instagram, it detracts from what we’re actually all there for: The wedding!”

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